SATIRE
DEFINITION: A literary work that uses ridicule or irony to expose or attack a vice or folly.

 

SATIRE
THE BOTTOM LINE:
Some people get it…
Some people are uninformed, misinformed, or a little slow, and don’t get it…
Some people don’t want to get it...unless it’s about someone else, then they’re all for it.

Which one are you???

Music: Led Zeppelin I & II

             Gil Scott Heron- Spirits

Beverage: Glenlivet (on the rocks)

 

          I'm always receiving feedback and comments from people that I know and people that I don't know, and it all revolves around the offensive (?) nature of the book title "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)." I was somewhat surprised by this feedback, because I personally do NOT judge a book (or a person) by its cover (i.e., 99% of the people who've criticized this book haven't read it).

So I wondered to myself, if the book's title was "White Men Have a 3rd Eye (In the Middle of their Forehead)," instead of "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)" would the title strike a nerve or offend anyone? Hell No!

 

Would anyone take that title seriously? Hell No!

 

I'm sure no one would be offended by the title "White Men Have a 3rd Eye (In the Middle of their Forehead)" because none of us have ever seen such an absurdity. I think it's safe to say the title "White Men Have a 3rd Eye (In the Middle of their Forehead)" would NOT be taken seriously, or strike a nerve, or offend.

 

Ironically, the movie title "White Men Can't Jump" (which I found offensive) also described a physical difference between White Men and Black Men, but for some reason this title did NOT strike a nerve or offend either.

 

So why does the title "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)" strike a nerve or offend people? After all, it's White Men who've said "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)," and they've been saying it for centuries (though inadvertently). The centuries old comments about the Black Male Penis and the Black Male Sexual Prowess never seem to offend anyone when they're stated as a negative, or stated for the sake of humor. When Black Male Sexuality is viewed thru the prism of pimps and rapists, or the buffoonery of Tim Meadow's The Ladies Man  or VH1's Flavor of Love, no one seems to be offended. Those images or portrayals certainly never seem to offend White Folks.

 

The endless stream of Big Black Penis jokes that flow from Hollywood never seem to offend anyone. Movies like Blazing Saddles, Mel Brook's History of the World Pt. I, Mandingo, Dogma, Good Fences, Remember the Titans, Wildcats, Soul Man, Liberty Heights, Full Metal Jacket, and The 40 Year Old Virgin were applauded for their comedic genius (NOTE: in my book I list over 60 reputable movies and TV shows that refer to the Black Penis over 80 times). When Jim Carrey was told that his three Black Babies had "Dicks bigger than them sausages!" in the movie Me, Myself & Irene, everyone thought it was hilarious and no one was offended. And folks, this is not a new phenomenon. The very first full length motion picture in the history of film, The Birth of a Nation, was solely dedicated to portraying Black Men as blood-thirsty rapists. This movie was also the very first to be shown at the White House, and was applauded by then Pres. Woodrow Wilson, who stated "It is like writing history with lightning. And my only regret is that it is all so terribly true" (and quietly a spike in lynching and castration occurred). Of the literally millions of possible subjects to use for the very first motion picture (politics, love, war, life, sports, etc., etc.), "Fear of the Black Penis" was chosen as Number 1, wow.

 

The bottom line is, when the Black Penis is the Punch Line to the joke, no one ever seems to be offended. When these ignorant comments are used to Sexually denigrate Black Men, and portray them as pimps and rapists, no one seems to be offended. Certainly not the people who are currently offended by the book title  White Men Can't Hump?

 

All I did was take the centuries old negative comments and put them in a positive light. All I did was say: "If these things you've said about us for four centuries are true, then maybe we're better in the bedroom than you." I just turned the centuries old negative comments into a positive. Those Big Black Penis jokes don't seem to be as funny when you turn that shit around, do they. These centuries old negative comments pale in comparison to the centuries of heinous behavior. White Men validated this book's title with things like:

 

Jim Crow Laws: which served solely to keep Black Men out of social settings with White Women (i.e., schools, pools, theatres and lunch counters).

 

Lynching and Castration: They couldn't just shoot a Brother, or hang a Brother, or burn a Brother at the stake, they also had to remove his genitals (regardless of what the supposed offense was).

 

The Tuskegee Experiment: U.S. Government doctors watched Black Men rot from-the-inside-out with syphilis, and also knowingly allowed them to spread this disease to Black Women, who in turn, passed the disease on to their fetus if they became pregnant.  

 

The criminalization of marijuana: America 's first Drug Czar, Harry Anslinger, stated before Congress that marijuana caused White Women to listen to jazz music and fornicate with Negroes.

 

Anti-Miscegenation Laws:  These were laws were created specifically for Black Men, were introduced in nearly every state, and passed in over 30 states. None of these laws ever applied to White Men, and never stopped White Men from creating Mulatto babies with Black Women (i.e., Strom Thurmond's political career should've ended before it ever began). And ironically, it took the U.S. Supreme Court to rule these laws unconstitutional in 1967 (well within my lifetime) in the case of Loving v. Virginia , when Richard Loving, a White Man, married a Black Woman.

 

If all of the above sounds trivial or inconsequential, then ponder this fact. The Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's, which is credited for knocking down the walls of Jim Crow, and therefore making America what it was supposed to be at its inception, was sparked by "Fear of the Black Penis." Most historians are now in agreement that the lynching of 14 year old Emmett Till (for allegedly whistling at a White Woman) is the actual spark that ignited the Civil Rights Movement. Historians had no choice but to reach that conclusion when Rosa Parks later stated "I thought of Emmett Till and I couldn't go back." That under-reported statement/fact resulted in the Montgomery bus boycott exactly 100 days after Till's murder, and the rest of course is history.

 

NOTE: Believe it or not, I list even more examples in my book.

 

So whether it be the behavior and laws of the past, or the behavior and jokes of the present, White Men have intensely Feared the Black Penis, or Feared their women would be attracted to the Black Penis, and therefore validate this book's title. There may not be any proof of the 3rd Eye proposition, but unfortunately there's a ton of truth in their heinous behavior. The fact that Black Men were Castrated and racist legislation was created speaks for itself, and when this behavior is coupled with White created comments such as "Once you go Black you don't go Back," it more than validates my book's title, period.

After all, why else was this heinous behavior so necessary and so prevalent?

 

 So I repeat, White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men) was not created by me; it was created by centuries of attitudes, comments, and behavior. So to those of you who are offended by the title "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)", now you know how I feel every time I'm followed in a Department Store (i.e., like I'm going to steal  something).

 

When Black Folks complain about Racist behavior, everyone says "Stop whining" or "You're being overly-sensitive" or "Race has nothing to do with it" or "Get over it." So that's what I do. So to those of you offended by the title "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)," save the Hate Mail, "Stop whining" and "Get over it."

 

And if it makes you feel better, I personally love fried chicken and watermelon (which is another ridiculous stereotype, because most White Folks also love fried chicken and watermelon).

 

As you can see there's a lot of negative comments that I didn't create, and I'm not offended by most of them either. Most of the negative comments/stereotypes only serve to divide us, because deep inside, we all want the same things in life. We all want peace, prosperity, good schools for our children and safe neighborhoods for our families. This is proof that we all have more in common than NOT. What 9/11 showed us is that we're all Americans, but why does it take a tragedy to unite us? Why does it take a tragedy to over come the silliness that usually divides us? Folks, if I had the answer to that one I'd be a millionaire. I'll tell you this much, these walls can only be knocked down by individuals, and they'll only stay knocked down if we refuse to pass Hate and Intolerance on to our children; because our children are our truest legacy.

 

The beauty of our democracy is that everyone has the right to offend and to be offended, and no one should be exempt, within reason (regardless of your skin color). So I want all of you to know that I plan on overcoming those centuries old comments by making "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)" a household name. Because if/when "White Men Can't Hump (As Good As Black Men)" becomes a household name, I'd be willing to bet you won't hear anymore jokes like "Them kid's Dicks are bigger than them sausages!"

 

Before I close, I want to reiterate that I'm not passing judgment on an entire race of people (that would be unfair, ridiculous, and bigoted, wouldn't it). I'm just pointing out factual history, and showing how that history affects the way Blacks and Whites see each other and treat each other. I've yet to hear anyone refute these facts, which means that "Fear of the Black Penis" is often at the root of Racism against Black Men.

 

The bottom line is that when you demean someone Sexually, you therefore demean them as human beings (just ask the Gay Community). The examples I stated earlier took place well before the current Black self-denigration in hip-hop music, and trust me, my book points out every problem in the Black community: drugs, guns, unemployment, dead-beat fathers, unwed mothers, sexual irresponsibility, crime, and of course, incarceration. It all ties-in together because we're all in this together.

 

What my book does is chronicle all of our faults, Black and White (I also get a ton of Hate mail from Black Folks). My book puts Race on the table and keeps it there, by combining it with America's favorite subject, Sex.   

 

I often think of the many great Black Men who spoke their minds in the face of Hatred and opposition and never wavered one step. Great men like Frederick Douglas, Jack Johnson, Paul Robeson, W. E. B. Dubois, Medgar Evers, Dr. King, Fred Hampton, Malcolm X, Jim Brown, and Muhammad Ali never shut up for anyone. I will never be in the class of any of those great men, but the trail they blazed doesn't require me to be in their class, it only requires me to be whatever I want to be. I don't know what I want to be, but I can tell you what I won't be, and that's SILENT.

 

So please "Stop whining" and "Get over it," and always remember my Humpers and Humpettes: "Life is too short to Hate."

 Music:  PRINCE “Sign of the Times”

              Curtis Mayfield “SUPERFLY” Soundtrack

 

Beverage: Green Tea

 

 

            I wanted to wait until the dust settled before I commented on the murder of Sean Taylor, the Washington Redskin’s All-Pro Safety. Unlike everyone else, who seemed to find joy in speculating on what may have occurred, I figured I’d wait until they put the young Brother in the ground, or at least wait until they caught the young Brothers who killed him. After all, most of us knew the speculators would be at least partially correct. I mean, was there ever any doubt in anyone’s mind that Sean Taylor was the victim of Black on Black crime (that’s not a question either). I’m not going to get into whether or not Sean Taylor was a good guy, because that’s irrelevant at this point. At this point, to most of the country, Sean Taylor and his killers are nothing more than the latest statistics. No disrespect to Sean Taylor, but as I type this, more than likely, somewhere in this country, a Black Mother is being woken from her sound sleep and is being asked to come down and identify her son, and I’d be willing to bet she could care less who Sean Taylor is, because now her son is the newest statistic. And the statistics I’m referring to are jaw-dropping:

 

According to the latest Census, Blacks make up 13 percent of the U.S. population.

 

In 2006 there were 14,990 murder victims in the U.S. and 6,294 (over 40 percent) were Black Men.

 

9 out of every 10 Black Men who are murdered, are murdered by their fellow Black Brothers.

 

Black Men under the age 25 are 15 times more likely to die of murder than White Men under 25.

 

Black Men over the age of 25 are 7 times more likely to die of murder than White Men over 25.

 

33 percent of Black children live in poverty, and Black Men make up 37 percent of the U.S. prison population.

 

           Most of those statistics are courtesy of the U.S. Dept. of Justice, and were recently used in a CNN Special entitled “Black Men in Crisis.” Those statistics only tell us what is seen and measured, they don’t tell us the invisible genocide that is currently taking place in the Black community. There’s no doubt that most of this genocide is self-inflicted, and it’s time we start asking the following question: “Are Black Men modern day dinosaurs marching towards extinction?”

 

            It’s true, there is indeed a thriving Black Middle Class in America, but the Black Middle Class is currently shrinking because the American Middle Class is currently shrinking. Back when I was a young United States Marine in the early 1980’s I was taught how life really works. You see, in the military everything is based on rank/seniority. We called it the “Shit Rolls Down Hill” theory, and if you were at the bottom of the seniority totem pole, you caught a lot of the “Shit.” And guess what, from day one, Black Folks have been at the bottom of America’s totem pole. Right now, America is catching a lot of shit economically, and you know where shit runs, it runs down hill.

 

Is that an excuse for Black Men to kill each other? Hell No!

 

              Republicans can talk that bullshit about how great the economy is, but they base that shit on the stock market, and if you watch closely you’ll notice that everybody always loses money on the stock market but them. That’s America folks; America has always been about double-standards. Whether it be racial double-standards or economic double-standards, Black Folks are at the bottom of both of those totem poles. Those of you who’ve read my book White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men) know that I pull NO punches. I don’t blame White Folks for all of the problems in the Black community, and I don’t play that Reverend Jesse and Reverend Al victimization bullshit. The double-standards that I point out are legit and can’t be denied, and I lay them out with facts, and let you the reader decide if the motivation is racist or economic. When times get tough, these double-standards are magnified, and right now times are tough. The biggest double-standard in America is this bullshit “War on Drugs.” The U.S. makes up 4 percent of the world’s population, but consumes 2/3’s of the world’s illegal drugs. Now I know Black Folks like to get high, but I refuse to believe that Black Folks are consuming 2/3’s of the illegal drugs on this planet. And I have the statistics to back me up:

 

14 percent of this nations illegal drug users are Black.

35 percent of those arrested for possession are Black.

55 percent of those convicted are Black.

75 percent of those sent to prison are Black.

 

             In 1984 there were less than 300,000 Blacks in prison, and today, there’s just under one million. The different sentencing guidelines for Crack Cocaine (the drug of choice for Blacks) vs. Powder Cocaine (the drug of choice for Whites) has a lot to do with this genocidal double-standard. Crack gets you mandatory time in prison and Powder gets you rehab and treatment. I recently brought this fact up in a radio interview, and the host accused me of being soft on crime. He thought that I wanted to reduce the sentences for those who dealt or possessed Crack. When I replied, “Why don’t we just raise the sentences for those caught with Powder?,” he promptly changed the subject. Hey, people like to get high, and when times are tough, people REALLY like to get high. Everyone has a vice/drug of choice they lean on during tough times. Some people’s drug of choice is legal (i.e., coffee, cigarettes, porn, alcohol or prescription drugs, a la Rush Limbaugh), and some people’s drug of choice is illegal (and as usual, it’s the people at the bottom of the totem pole that get the shittiest deal).

 

Is that an excuse for Black Men to kill each other? Hell No!

 

            Black Men in prison contribute to this genocide, because they usually leave a few children fatherless, who are then doomed to repeat the cycle. Black Men are far more likely to be charged as felons, which certainly contributes to this genocide, because once you’re a felon, you’re practically eliminated from the American dream, and you’re also doomed to repeat your past mistakes (i.e., get locked up again or get killed). Black Men who are released from prison also have a genocidal effect on Black Women because that’s the primary reason HIV/AIDS is reaching epidemic proportions among Black Women. I know stating that fact is going to piss some people off, but to deny that fact, is to imply that Black Women suddenly decided to become IV drug users and needle sharers. We know that particular implication is bullshit, so let’s be real. The bottom line is when you’re in prison, you’ve only got three options:

# 1 Masturbation

# 2 Fuck another man, or

# 3 Get fucked by another man

 

            If you’re a 19 year old male of any race, and you just got a 10 year prison sentence, those three options don’t look too good, do they? Keep in mind, as a male, at that age you’re also at your sexual peak. That’s why these guys get out of jail and try to act so damn hard. That’s also why these guys refuse to wear condoms; they’re trying to get that old feeling back, i.e., trying to wash that bad taste out of their mouths (no pun intended). These guys can say whatever they want, but I’m a former prison guard and I’m telling you, there’s a lot of sex going on in prisons, and I’m not talking about conjugal visits either. That said, unfortunately prison has become big business in America, and prisons provide a lot of jobs for small towns all across America, that’s a fact.

 

Is any of this an excuse for Black Men to continue killing each other? Hell No!

 

          Of course, it would be cheaper to build schools than prisons, and building schools would be a better long-term investment, but the current generation of young Black Males has made it easier for the powers-that-be to sell the public on short-term investments, i.e., build more prisons. I’m not talking about the current generation of young Black Males committing physical crimes, I’m talking about young Black Males committing mental crimes. Nothing is hurting the Black community more than this current attitude that “Reading and Writing is acting White.” This attitude is far more damaging than babies born out of wed-lock, the spread of HIV/AIDS, rampant unemployment, and the proliferation of hand guns in the inner-city. This “Reading and Writing is acting White” attitude is more damaging than all of the above combined, because a decent education is the one thing that could drastically reduce all of the above. The extinction of Black Men is not going to come about because of 6,000 murders a year, the extinction of Black Men is going to come because of the 50 percent high school drop out rate that contributes to nearly every problem I just listed.

 

             How do we stop this genocide? First of all, someone has to care. Right now not enough people care. I’m not talking about these silly marches either. These silly “Stop the Violence” marches never reach the people they’re intended to reach, because the people out there doing the shooting, don’t watch the news, don’t read the papers, and sleep all day because they hang out on the corner all night. There has to be a consistent, genuine concern, and not just sporadic outrage when an innocent bystander is struck down. The truth is, more Americans care about Black Folks in Darfur than Black Folks displaced because of Hurricane Katrina. I’m often reminded of that classic line from the movie “The Godfather”: “They (Blacks) are animals anyway, so let them lose their souls”

 

NOTE: I’ve always found it amusing that the people who privately believe that Black Folks evolved from monkeys, are usually the same people who don’t believe in evolution and don’t want evolution taught in schools. You know what kind of people I’m talking about. That said, I don’t think you can have it both ways can you (that's not a question).  

       

            That “Blacks are animals anyway” line is just a nice way of saying “nobody cares about your Black ass,” which is cool with me. But you’d think the fact that nobody cares about you would be a great reason to help each other, not kill each other. I’m a firm believer that you can only help those who want to be helped. I’m also a firm believer that we’re all in this together, so therefore this is an American problem. If you don’t think we’re all in this together, then just remember, every time a young Black Male is locked up for a bullshit drug offense, that’s one less prison bed for a White Male pedophile. Just think about it. Think about all of the high-profile pedophile cases in just the last couple years. Kids kidnapped and murdered, kids held captive for years, and usually the perpetrator is always a repeat offender, and everyone is always appalled by the fact that he was out of jail early. These guys were usually released early because there’s no room, because the jails are full of young Black Males with bullshit drug charges. Think about that the next time you watch NBC’s “To Catch a Predator,” which features a revolving door of White Male pedophiles who are usually repeat offenders. Like I said, we’re all in this together.  

 

          So how do we stop this genocide? Somehow we need to reach the masses and tell them there’s a better way. Somehow we need to reach the masses before the extinction train starts moving too fast. But how can we possibly reach the masses when the masses have been brainwashed into believing it’s all about “Get Rich or Die Trying?” How can we possibly reach the masses when they see “the Queen of Daytime Talk” giving away free cars to an affluent audience that doesn’t need shit, and certainly isn’t at the bottom of any totem pole? How can we stop Black Men from becoming extinct?

 

I’ll close with an excerpt from White Men Can’t Hump that was my plea to the human race, but it’s actually quite fitting since we’re all in this together:  

    

            “So what do you want your Legacy to be? We’ve seen throughout History that individuals can make a difference. We’ve also seen throughout History that individuals can make a negative difference. 99% of everything we’ll ever say, see or do, we’ll never even remember. This means that all of recorded History is based on the 1 % of what we do remember, yet look at the 1 % we often choose to be remembered for. It’s pretty sad when you think about it. In today’s culture of Greed, Hate and Intolerance, we find ourselves short of individuals who are willing to step up and make a positive difference. In the Grand Scheme of Things this doesn’t bode well for the future of the human species.

 

Ask yourself:

“Will human beings be here One Hundred Years from now?”

“Will human beings be here One Thousand Years from now?”

“Will human beings be here One Million Years from now?”

“Will human beings Sleep with the Dinosaurs?”

 

As individuals, we can’t answer the above questions until we first answer this question:

                                           What do I want my Legacy to be?”

 

Always remember my Humpers and Humpettes: “Life is too short to Hate.”

Music: THE COMMODORES  “COMMODORES” and “Midnight Magic”

Beverage: Coffee (it was a little too early for Scotch)   

 

 Here we go again. After writing a book on race in America that seemed to terrify people of all races, White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men), I wanted to focus on something a little less contentious, like gender. But it seems like I’m getting pulled back into the murky waters known as race in America. I say murky, not because we can’t see the racial problems in America, but because we don’t want to see the reasons why many of those problems exist, i.e., America prefers to dismiss the problem by denying the root problem even exists. The recent national re-emergence of the “noose” is what has pulled me back into these murky waters, and my publicist keeps telling to put something out there to fully explain this issue. Because like so many other symbols of America’s racist past, once again the true motivation has either gotten lost in translation, or redefined. This is certainly not new; here’s two other examples of how time diminishes the true motivation behind certain symbols, or redefines the original meaning of a particular symbol.

1)     The “N Word”: Was once the consummate symbol of hate and degradation in the eyes of Black Folks, and it was our primary name in the eyes of many White Folks. But time, political correctness, and hip hop music have made this term more mainstream, and at the same time more offensive. First of all, political correctness has changed the term “Nigger” to the “N Word,” so now everyone can say it without actually saying it. And then Black Folks turned it into a term of endearment amongst each other, but at the same time, we still lose our minds when we hear a racist tirade, like the tirades from “Michael Richards” or “Doug ‘The Bounty Hunter’ Chapman.” White Folks then cry “No Fair, how come you guys can call each other Nigger, but we can’t call you Nigger,  just like we did in the good old days.” I hear that crap all of the time, and I also hear “No fair, why should we lose our job for saying what hip hop performers say in every other song.” Without getting into a long detailed explanation (I do however explain this in my book), all I can say is political correctness has created a unique double-standard, and anytime White Folks complain about a double-standard, I consider it progress. This language double-standard pales in comparison to the double-standard in sentencing for drug offences, i.e., Crack Cocaine (the drug of choice for Black Folks) gets you mandatory jail time vs. Powder Cocaine (the drug of choice for White Folks) gets you treatment and rehab. Yeh, I know, they recently knocked a few months off of those mandatory Crack Cocaine sentences, but my question is, why didn’t they just add a few years to the sentences for Powder Cocaine? We know why, that’s why I don’t want to hear crap about double-standards. The “N Word” may cost you your job, but you can always get another job, just ask Don Imus. When you catch a felony Crack Cocaine charge, you can’t get a real job, ever. Nor can you vote, own a gun, and on and on. So spare me the double-standard talk. The next example of a hate symbol being redefined is:

2)     The Confederate Flag: This one is much easier to define, but our nation, with the help of pandering politicians, have allowed this symbol of hate and Slavery to become an issue of states rights. The Confederacy’s goal was to maintain the institution of Slavery, period. So to those uninformed idiots who still swear that the Civil War was about states rights, you’re only about half right, and 50% correct would still be an “F” on a test. The truly correct half of that equation is that the Civil War was indeed about “states rights,” i.e., a states right to own Slaves. Don’t take my word for it; take those states words for it. When individual Southern states began seceding from the Union, nearly all of their formal Declarations referred to their right to own Slaves. The state of South Carolina, the state which cherishes the Confederate Flag the most, mentioned the word “Slavery” 18 times in their formal Declaration. There you have it, the Civil War was about the institution of Slavery, period. But, one entire section of the country has been allowed to re-write history. The Confederate Flag is also a symbol of hate because every time Black Folks have made public appeals for justice, it has been waved in the back ground by those who wished to maintain the status quo. So while pandering politicians hide behind this “states rights” crap (only John McCain has had the courage to state otherwise), the Confederate Flag continues to skate by with a public definition that attempts to mask this symbols true motivation.

 

          So there you have it, the “N Word” was once the ultimate symbol of hate, but has now taken on new dimensions thanks to political correctness and hip hop music. Hip hop music has made the word mainstream, and yet, political correctness has restricted White usage of the word to the privacy of their own homes. This has created a debate that focuses on the “N Words” usage, and therefore obscures its historical intent.

 

        The Confederate Flag has maintained its presence because it has conveniently received a duplicitous redefinition. This has helped to obscure the Confederate Flag’s true motivation and historical intent, which brings us to the “noose.”

 

        To say the “noose” is a symbol of hate is like saying a gun is a symbol of violence, duhhhhh, no shit. The beauty of the “noose” is that it’s a distinct symbol of a specific kind of hate that no one in this country likes to discuss. The “noose” is a symbol of lynching, and lynching represents the darkest and most shameful period in our history. And just like the “N Word” and the “Confederate Flag,” lynchings true motivation and historical intent have been intentionally clouded. Actually, the true motivation and historical intent of lynching, and its symbol the “noose,” have never really been publicly discussed or examined. When people think of lynching, they only envision the pitiful portrait that pitiful historians have painted. Lynching has therefore been reduced to three or four rogue klansmen who overpowered the local sheriff and hung some Black Guy (usually accused of raping a White Woman) before he received a fair trial. That’s an absolute joke of a portrait that only tells a fraction of this story (an inaccurate fraction at that).

 

           Lynching parties, more often than not, numbered in the hundreds if not thousands, and the crowds usually numbered in the thousands as well. Lynching, or “Nigger barbecues,” as they were called in those days, was a community event, a major gathering, and also an opportunity to get together with the surrounding communities (who all showed up in droves). This fact has been intentionally obscured over time. But you don’t have take my word for it, I beg you to check out Ralph Ginzburg’s book “100 YEARS of LYNCHINGS” (it’s available at Amazon.com), and read for yourself. These crowds were enormous, and regardless of the supposed transgression, the methodology was usually the same. Torturing, castration, and body part for souvenirs. These preliminary activities were usually followed with shooting, hanging and/or burning at the stake. Mr. Ginzburg’s book contains a one page Foreword, and then nearly 300 actual newspaper accounts from local reporters and reporters who were visiting from the North. This book is America’s version of Holocaust footage and I can’t recommend it enough.

 

             As a child I was always curious, and this curiosity has followed me into adulthood, so therefore my theory on life has always been: “Don’t just tell me what happened, please tell me why.” This approach to life forced me to do a lot of research on lynching because unlike the Nazi’s of WWII, lynchers rarely sat down and gave detailed interviews. I don’t understand why, because they certainly didn’t have to fear any Nuremburg-like prosecution. No one has ever been prosecuted for lynching a Black Man during that era, and the number of documented lynchings is close to 5,000 (the undocumented numbers could be 10 times that), but luckily there are plenty of photos of White Men posing next to their mutilated prey, and there’s also the braggadocios confession of J.W. Milam to Look Magazine. This paid interview obviously came after being acquitted of lynching 14 year old Emmett Till. The bottom line is, lynchers enjoyed smiling and posing for pictures, but for some reason have remained mum and have never told us why lynching, and more importantly, nudity and castration was the norm. Come on fellas, I know there’s still a lot of you alive, inquiring minds want to know.

 

               The U.S. Senate routinely blocked every attempt to make lynching a federal offense, and to this day, no lynchers or members of those cheering mobs, have ever sat down and explained why this practice was so prevalent. Well, thankfully they don’t have to, because their methodology tells us the true motivation behind the practice of lynching. Lynching was solely about “Fear of the Black Penis,” period. So therefore, the “noose” really represents “Fear of the Black Penis.” How do I know this? Because I discuss “Fear of the Black Penis” in my book White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men), which is a book that has been widely distributed, and I’ve yet to be called factually incorrect, I’ve yet to be called a racist by anyone who’s read it, and I’ve yet to be challenged in any way. My book has gone completely unchallenged, and this fact is a source of pride for me. When you consider the fact that we currently reside in a racial climate that relishes the opportunity to call Black Folks racist, my book is a wonder to behold. Affirmative Action is now considered reverse-discrimination. Johnny Cochran was considered a racist for playing the race card in the O.J. Simpson trial, and the Simpson jury is considered racists for buying it. Then throw in Louis Farakhan, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton, all of whom are considered Black racists, and you’d think my little book would be ripe for attack. Instead, White Men Can’t Hump has walked this gauntlet not only unscathed, but I repeat, unchallenged.

 

        Why has my book, whose basic premise is that racism against Black Men emanates from “Fear of the Black Penis” gone unchallenged? Because no can dispute the following:

 

 Jim Crow Laws: These laws served solely to keep Black Men out of social settings with White Women (i.e., schools, pools, theatres and lunch counters).

 

Anti-Miscegenation Laws:  These laws were created specifically for Black Men, were introduced in nearly every state, and passed in over 30 states. None of these laws ever applied to White Men, and never stopped White Men from creating Mulatto babies with Black Women (i.e., Strom Thurmond's political career should've ended before it ever began). And ironically, it took the U.S. Supreme Court to rule these laws unconstitutional in the 1967 case of Loving v. Virginia, when a White Man, Richard Loving, married a Black Woman.

 

The criminalization of marijuana: America's first Drug Czar, Harry Anslinger, stated before Congress that marijuana caused White Women to listen to jazz music and fornicate with Negroes.

 

The Tuskegee Experiment: U.S. Government doctors watched Black Men rot from the inside out with syphilis, and also knowingly allowed them to spread this disease to Black Women, who in turn, passed the disease on to their fetus if they became pregnant.  

 

 

                                          AND OF COURSE,

 

Lynching and Castration: They couldn't just shoot a Brother, or hang a Brother, or burn a Brother at the stake, they also had to remove his genitals (regardless of what the supposed offense was).   

 

Note: I list many more similar examples in my book.

 

         Why is the behavior I just listed important? Those events are important because in order to define the true motivation of the symbol, you have to validate the motivation itself. So now that we all agree that “Fear of the Black Penis” was/is a living and breathing thing, that was/is legally and illegally enforced, let’s talk about how “Fear of the Black Penis” was executed and practiced, i.e., lynching and it’s symbol, the “noose.”

 

               Since none of the hundreds of thousands of people (that’s right, hundreds of thousands) who participated in lynching have ever stepped forward and explained why they felt the need to castrate thousands of Black Men, we’ll let the evidence of this practice speak for itself. Recently CNN featured a special entitled “The Noose: An American Nightmare,” which examined the re-emergence of this historically significant symbol of hate. CNN’s Kyra Phillips sat down with James Allen, co-author of the book “WITHOUT SANCTUARY: Lynching Photography in America,” and also curator of the largest collection of lynching memorabilia in America, and Mr. Allen (who by the way is White) stated the following: “I think, really, most painful for me, and I’ve never talked about this, but are the images where they stripped them nude. They are at your complete and total mercy, and this is constantly done to African Americans.” Mr. Allen’s book “WITHOUT SANCTUARY” provides the visual evidence of this practice, and Ralph Ginzburg’s book “100 YEARS of LYNCHINGS” provides the journalistic evidence from well known publications such as the New York Times and The Chicago Tribune. Mr. Ginzburg’s book features article after article after article, and seemingly almost every article contains the term “the Negro was de-sexed” or “the Negro was unsexed” and my favorite headline “BOY UNSEXES NEGRO BEFORE MOB LYNCHES HIM.” That’s right, before a crowd of nearly one thousand viewers, a 10 year old White Youth received his formal initiation to the art of lynching when he was forced to castrate Bert Smith with a large butcher knife, just outside of Houston, Texas in 1917. I know, I know, 1917 was in the Stone Age. To some it is, but seeing as how I was raised by my Grandfather, who was 18 years old in 1917, he didn’t see lynching as part of the Stone Age and neither do I (and lynchings also occurred in the 1960’s, certainly within my lifetime). You see, those crowds that numbered in the thousands, often contained hundreds of children (remember now, families were much larger in those days). By witnessing this barbarism, what were those children taught? What kind of adults did those children grow up to be, and what did they teach their children? What those children witnessed was “Fear of the Black Penis” and also that a “Black life is less valuable than a White life.” When you look at some of the attitudes that exist today, it doesn’t take a genius to see where these attitudes came from.

 

           When you look at the “noose” incident in Jena, La., it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the real deal is. Those “nooses” weren’t hung because the White Kids were trying to defend their tree or their shade; those “nooses” were hung because those White Kids were trying to protect their women from the big Black football players. Do I know this for a fact? Nope. But I do remember the first time I heard the term “Nigger Lover.” It was in 7^th grade (well before high school), and we all know what that term represents, don’t we. Would those kids ever admit to that? Did the lynchers ever admit to castration? The answer to both questions is Hell No!

 

           So the moral to this factual story is this. The “noose” is not just a symbol of hate, it’s a symbol of lynching, which is therefore a symbol of a distinct type of hate, and that distinct type of hate is known as “Fear of the Black Penis.” And if people are really serious about permanently putting the “noose” in a museum where it belongs, I’ve got the answer to this problem. I absolutely guarantee that if this truth was reported; the fact that the “noose” is a symbol for “Fear of the Black Penis,” these little “White-supremacist- wanna-bees” would put their “nooses” away in shame and would retreat back to the Confederate Flag, where they enjoy political cover. And that my friends is the real truth behind the “noose.”

 

Always remember my Humpers and Humpettes: “Life is too short to Hate.”

Music: Miles Davis "Bitches Brew"

            Johnny 'Guitar' Watson "Ain't That A Bitch"

           (I really do listen to the above music while I work)

 

Beverage: Bitch (an Australian Grenache)

            (I really do drink the above drink while I work)

          

 I guess I'm in a real Bitchy mood tonight, but don't worry, this won't be my typical Bitch session. The word Bitch was recently elevated to the national stage thanks to New York Knick's Head Coach, Isiah Thomas. And unlike the term 'nappy-headed ho's, the word Bitch doesn't come with a pink slip. Is this because the word Bitch is no stranger to the American vernacular? Could be. Let's be real, the word Bitch is like many other words in the American vernacular, i.e., it's all about context. Let's check out some more Bitches, shall we.

 

DEF: Bitch (bich) 1) a female dog or fox, 2) a woman regarded as bad-tempered or malicious, 3) [Slang] anything especially difficult 4) [Slang] to complain.

 

 

           What'll ya'll think of that? The actual definition is a Bitch isn't it. It's all about context folks, it's all about context. The truth is the word carries more sting when a man uses the word towards a woman, so therefore, women sub-consciously apply the same standard to the B-Word, that many Black Folks apply to the N-Word. Meaning, it doesn't carry the same sting when we use it amongst each other. That said, Isiah Thomas's take on the word melded the sexes and the races in a way that boggles the mind, even if slightly true. During a videotaped deposition for a sexual harassment lawsuit, against himself, Isiah was asked: "Mr. Thomas, you stated earlier that you found it offensive for a White Man to call a Black Woman a Bitch, would you also find it offensive for a Black Man to call a Black Woman a Bitch?" Mr. Thomas replied: "Not as much, I'm sorry to say; I do make a distinction." Now what makes Thomas's comment so mind-boggling is the fact that he's a top executive in a multi-million dollar corporation and he didn't have the common sense to say: "I don't think it's proper for any man of any race to call any woman a Bitch, especially in the workplace."  I'm sure his bosses would've appreciated my hypothetical response because it probably would've saved them 11.6 Million dollars. The slight truth resides in the fact that no group of people likes to be denigrated by people outside of their group, and from what I've seen, women use the word towards each other more than men use the word towards women (pimps don't count, even though